5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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