She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize