my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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