Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
