Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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