Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
