yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize