I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
