Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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