ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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