Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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