I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Too much gin, very little bucket
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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