I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
