Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
