My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
