Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Can I color on your dick again?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
