I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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