Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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