I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
