It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
