Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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