What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
