do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
