I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
