Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
