It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
