I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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