he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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