i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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