I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
