idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
