I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
