Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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