I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
