was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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