Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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