I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
