Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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