It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
