This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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