It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
