check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
