he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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