We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
