Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We're too hungover to prance.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
