sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
