How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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