her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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