We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
