Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I will be naked everywhere
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
