she smelled like a LAN party
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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