Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize