Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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