; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
