there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm like, not good at living.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
