Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
