and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
