did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
