Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
