we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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